Taboo Tactics: Is Cyberstalking a Dating Don’t?

So, try this on for size. I’m at a bar with my gaggle of guys who have broken into a party for some girl they don’t even know. The place is packed to the gills and I’m picking wax off my roommate’s face after she’s too forcefully blown out a candle (Hi. My life.) when a guy shimmies up behind me.

“Hey! I love your glasses!”

Now. This is my emotional Achilles’ heel. For some reason, my eyes, which are screwed up to begin with, started arbitrarily rejecting contacts on Jan 1. I see my eye doctor more than my boss, (I have to use that example because I don’t have a boyfriend. Two points for honesty?) And the whole ordeal has landed me in glasses that I have a love-hate relationship with. I love them on other people, specifically J.Crew models. I hate them on me. So natch, I love this guy. And I’m dumbfounded.

So I slap him on the chest and scream in his face, “Are you for real?” I know, I hate me too. But he his for real. He loves the glasses, and, wouldn’t you know it, my smile. This is the first day of the rest of my life. I will probably re-enact Tony’s “Tonight” scene from West Side Story back at the apartment. But I digress. The guys are laughing in my face, and the mystery man fades into the crowd.

Later in the night he resurfaces and we start chatting at the bar. In addition to having impeccable taste in eyewear, he’s handsome and reportedly spends his days helping a non-profit finance research initiatives for early stage cancer treatments. I wish I was making this up. And I can’t tell if he is. Regardless, we have a refreshing conversation.

“I think you’re so interesting,” he says at the end. “I feel like we should be Facebook friends for life!”

Um. What?

Yes. By all means. Let’s take this human interaction to the artificial realm. I see a shitload of poking in our future. But sadly, it’s not to be. Finding me on Facebook is akin to jailbreaking Alcatraz. I’ve got those privacy settings locked down because I like to pretend I’m in control of my internet persona, and because I’d rather new acquaintances find out about my love of Shrek 2 through conversation, not investigation.

Wishful thinking? Maybe. But it resurrects the ongoing debate about cyber-stalking potential dates. You always hear that it’s a bad idea; that learning about new people should be done organically. I agree with that but there are so many tools out there that stalking has become too easy. So, please, invest your two cents in my wedding fund:

Sex by The Numbers: A Walking Tour

In today’s news nugget, we continue our examination of the way we live now, which is clearly, balls out on the Internet. The item of the day:  Ijustmadelove.com; the user generated outlet we’ve been craving that allows us to confess every instance of sexual intercourse and display it conveniently on a searchable world map.

Using GPS and Google Maps, the site allows users to enhance their uploads with details of the deed, including selecting sexual orientation (heterosexual, gay or lesbian), one of six positions, and the type of venue, whether it be indoor, outdoor, in a car or (naturally) on a boat. (And I pause here to note that I’ve read enough women’s magazines to suggest that planes be added to this list. Just sayin’.)

The Daily Beast takes a closer look at the popularity of the site, which, as of this morning had logged a total of 98,775 encounters. And for all the stats lovers out there who are looking to analyze something more personal than condom-use by country, a mechanism is being developed to allow users to track their own sexual activity over time. Because there’s nothing like little s-Excel to brighten Monday morning.

Thank you, Internet. We needed this.

Via Gothamist.